Remember When…?

Mum and Dad never watched TV in our house. We only had a little 7 inch Black and White portable TV, limited to an hour a day’s viewing, except when they were out or I was at my friend Jam’s house. We never watched the soaps, Corrie and Crossroads, still don’t, so here is a list of magical shows that filled the screen when I was little. Wasn’t kids TV great?

Blue Peter and Magpie. CrackerJack and Doctor Who. The Clangers, Mister Ben, Mary Mungo and Midge, Pipkin’s, Hector’s House and Pogles Wood. Vision On and Out of Town. Tales of the Riverbank and The Magic Roundabout. Thunderbirds, Stingray and Captain Scarlet. Marine Boy and Scooby Doo. The Osmonds, The Jackson Five, The Harlem Globetrotters and Top Cat. Looney Tunes and Walt Disney. The Banana Splits, Double Deckers, Tiswas and Tarzan. High Chapparal, Bonanza and The Virginian. The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie. The Flashing Blade and Belle and Sebastian. Follyfoot, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and Happy Days. The Six Million Dollar Man, Kung Fu and Tomorrow’s World. Star Trek and Space 1999. Kojak, Ironsides, Starsky and Hutch, Columbo, Canon and The Rockford Files, Hawaii Five 0 and The Sweeney. Some Mothers Do ‘ave ‘em, Mike Yarwood, Dave allen, Dick Emery and Morecombe and Wise. Dad’s Army and It Ain’t Half Hot Mum. Carry On, Westerns and War Films. Top of the Pops, The Eurovision Song Contest, The Old Grey Whistle Test and The late night double bill of Hammer Horror films. Speaking of which, wasn’t The Texas Chainsaw Massacre film just a nightmare version of every Scooby Doo script? The kids, the van, an old house and a masked monster?

Any I missed?

I remember at school we had a TV in a cabinet on long legs, on which we all used to watch Playschool in the hall. One day the moon landing was being shown instead, to great excitement, but the TV chose that day not to work. The headmaster, being the most excited person in our 3 class school, hurriedly phoned all the parents to see who had a TV at home, sending us off in groups to watch it. Brilliant!

I had a fight with a bigger boy one day and bit him on the arm trying to get him off, he’d started it. Our teacher pulled us apart and bit me on the shoulder ‘to see how I liked it.’ I didn’t like it at all and told my mum when I got home, showing her the bruise. She took one look at my shoulder and spanked me and sent me to bed. Best not discuss fights with mum then.

Another thing, which I didn’t discuss with her, was when a girl friend of mine told me she had heard her mum and dad talking about something called sex and did I want to try it? We went into a toilet cubicle, closed the door, puckered up and kissed each other for about five minutes, not knowing what else to do. Our teacher came and caught us, banging angrily on the door. After we had innocently explained what we were doing, the teacher spanked me. It wasn’t even my idea! I kept quiet about that one and thought that I wouldn’t bother with sex, as it only led to trouble – I was only 7 but probably should have bore that in mind for future reference!

I also remember being chucked out of Cubs, for continually leaving early, with some or other excuse, to get home in time for Top of the Pops. Akela waited until the badge awarding ceremony at the end of term, and chucked out me and my brother, along with 2 others, in front of everyone, without our hard earned badges. Akela was new and anyway a poor replacement for our old leader, who had been great, with all sorts of games and stuff, so we didn’t really mind and just told Mum and Dad that we didn’t want to go anymore. Got away with that one.

A lifetime ago…

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